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Tuesday, 18 August 2020


Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.


I knitted a jumper with spaghetti
Just to pasta time.

I turned a mountain upside down
Just to dodge a climb.

I glued my money to my hands
Just to make it last.

I turbo-charged the tortoise
Just to make it fast.

I was rude in the greengrocer’s
Just upset the applecart.

I fed baked beans to the cat
Just to make it……. (answers on a postcard!)

 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

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