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Thursday, 27 August 2020


Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.


There's a monster in the cupboard,
I hear it breathing in and out,
Waiting to grab a hold of me,
Of that I have little doubt.

Some days it's cold and frosty,
The days when I need my duffel,
But on reaching in to grab it
I swear I hear a shuffle.

Just like football strikers,
I have to be quick on the bounce,
In and out in seconds before 
The monster has time to pounce.

Family says I imagine it
And urge me to stop my bleating,
Saying the shuffles, creaks and gurgles
Are from the central heating.
(Yeah, right!)

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

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