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Saturday 31 August 2013

HIS CHAIR


The chair
was his chair.
He is no longer there
but the chair
is still his chair.

Why do we stand
next to an empty chair?
He is not there
but he's always there.

It is still his chair.
It will always be his chair.

Thursday 29 August 2013

ON THE FONT FOOT



ON THE FONT FOOT

I like this font. (Times New Roman)
I like this font. (Abadi MT Condensed Bold)
I like this font. (Apple Chancery)
I like this font. (Arial Black)
I like this font. (Bank Gothic)
I like this font.  (Bauhaus 93)
I like this font. (Bookman Old Style)
I like this font. (Cooper Black)
I like this font. (Princetown let)
I like this font. (Mistral)
I like this font. (Stencil)

But most of all, my favourite font is
The font of all wisdom

Tuesday 27 August 2013

BRING ON THE BOMBS AND BULLETS


Bring on the bombs and bullets,
We've run out of things to say,
Bring on stretchers and body bags,
Take the dead and wounded away.

Bring on the justification
For massacres and landscapes destroyed,
Bring on the spin and the bullshit
To justify the methods deployed.

Bring on the bombs and bullets,
We've run out of things to say,
Let's get this war completed,
For there's another one on its way.

Monday 26 August 2013

CHIPPY



One potato,
Two potatoes,
Three potatoes,
Four,
Five potatoes,
Six potatoes,
Seven potatoes,
More.....

I peel 'em,
I wash 'em,
'Til my brain turns dippy,
Another long night
In the kitchen of the chippy.

Why do I do it,
When I'm a miserable bod?
Well I see it as my calling,
For the love of cod.

Sunday 25 August 2013

ATTENTION PASSENGERS


This is exactly what I heard over the tannoy during a flight today........

Bing-bong: "Crackle, squelch, blether, seat belts, blah, shriek, squeal, sputter, mumble, mutter, squeak, shriek, whine, hiss, sandwiches, crackle, squelch, blether, blah, shriek, squeal, hot drinks, sputter, mumble, mutter, squeak, shriek, whine, hiss, scratch cards, crackle, squelch, blether, blah, shriek, squeal, sputter, mumble, no smoking, mutter, squeak, shriek, whine, perfumes, hiss........"

Saturday 17 August 2013

CUE A QUEUE, THEN CUE ANOTHER QUEUE


Today's post draws attention to a wonderful Roger McGough poem, "Q", taken from the http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/q/ website.  
If I've breached any rules in reprinting this poem, I'll remove it. But it seems to be in the public domain."





Q

I join the queue
We move up nicely.

I ask the lady in front
What are we queuing for.
'To join another queue,'
She explains.

'How pointless,' I say,
'I'm leaving.' She points
To another long queue.
'Then you must get in line.'

I join the queue.
We move up nicely. 
Roger McGough

Tuesday 13 August 2013

PAXMAN'S BEARD

Newsnight, Newsnight,
Nerves and fright,
Brought on by Paxman's
Bark and bite.

And now politicians
Are even more a-feard
For Paxman's grown
A sinister beard.

Sunday 11 August 2013

WORLD OF FUNNY NOISES


This is my world of funny noises,
My land of chirp and swoosh,
Of rustle, hiss, moo and hoot,
Of screech, quack and caw.

This is my world of funny sounds,
Of gush, snap, crackle, fizz and splash,
Of click-clack, tick-tock, swish and ping,
Of splish, squish, squash, ding and clang.

These are the noises in my funny world,
My clank and tinkle, my chomp and sizzle,
My snuffle, whack, thwack and gurgle,
The pitter-patter atchoo of my whizz-popping self.

Thursday 1 August 2013

HUNTED


I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another.” Will Munny, Unforgiven

Behind me,
The crack of a snapping twig.

Look around, scan the trees
And the gaps in between,
Listen beyond the breeze,
Nothing more heard, nothing seen.

Who or what?
A dog, a wolf,
A scavenger, a crazy man,
A bandit, a ghost,
Fairies, elves?

Twigs don't snap themselves.

(From "Jack Elam, I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life")