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Friday, 29 November 2013

POINT ME THE WAY TO MY ABODE

This is not an original from me but it came to mind.

An alternative version of Show Me The Way To Go Home, to be sung as a less than sober toff:

Point me the way to my abode,
I'm inebriated and I need some kip,
I had a little drop of intoxicating liquor
and it's gone right to......the top of my anatomy

No matter where I may perambulate
over land or sea or atmospheric density,
you will always hear me crooning this tune,
show me the way to go home.



Thursday, 28 November 2013

PLAIN PACKAGING

A train of rolling bandwagons,
Politicians jumping on and off,
Coz they know what's good for the plebs,
And no mistake, hats off to the toff.

Now it's cigarettes in plain packaging,
The latest political wheeze,
To stop the public from reading
"These are ciggies" with relative ease.

Will it make any medical difference,
Almighty God only knows,
But it's a notion that might spread wider
And, how far it will go, well, who knows?

Ban words from the pages of books,
Make everything plain, dull and boring,
Like radio without any sound,
In this game of political points scoring.

In shops put all of the bad food
Into unlabelled cardboard packs,
All the booze in opaque plastic bottles
And all fashion to be made out of sacks.

Newspapers' pages all blank,
Magazines have had their day
TV pictures a thing of the past,
As all around us fades to grey.

Everything sold to the public,
Online, from racks and off shelves,
Needs rules and legislation
For we need to be saved from ourselves.

Oh, bless all the politicians,
Doing the jobs they think they should.
What the hell do we all know,
When we've never had it so good?

Power is a sexy thing,
They say all power corrupts,
But the powerful need an exit plan
When the people's power erupts.

Ain't that the plain truth?

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

EXISTING

Stuck in the rut of your furrowed brow,
I feel responsible for some of your wrinkles,
the laugh lines, the agedness,
the southern-facing corners of your mouth,
the baggy eyes, a-droop as you sat awake
waiting for the shriek of the gate hinge.
I was as often not there as you were there,
two ships not even close enough to pass,
two spirits haunting different worlds,
two people once as one as one,
now existing as if all hope is done.


Monday, 25 November 2013

THE TRIVIA OF MY DAD

My father, for a short while, was a tailor,
not a job that suited him, if you'll pardon me,
but some nights he'd bring home triangular chalk,
the sort that marked cloth, the sort that was a toy to me.

It was velvety to the touch, not like stick chalk,
but great fun on a black or purple writing pad.
I remember little of importance about him
but I recall odds and ends, the trivia of my Dad.

Friday, 22 November 2013

STRICTLY CHRISTMAS

From my book Only Yules & Verses - available here:



Strictly come Dasher,
Strictly come Vixen,
Strictly come Donner,
Strictly come Blitzen,
Strictly come Cupid,
Strictly come Prancer,
Strictly come Comet,
Strictly come Dancer.

Ho! Ho! Ho!


Thursday, 21 November 2013

FOLK SINGER

She sits cross-legged,
guitar nestling
on her right thigh,
singing Tim Hardin songs,
perfect pitch,
perfect form,
like the tear in her eye.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

WORDS WORTH


1

I wandered lonely in a daze,
the vales and hills a distant blur,
when all at once I was amazed,
some daffodils began to stir,
close to a lake, under the trees,
rocking and swaying in the breeze.

If only a poet was passing through
to describe the scene for me and you.

2

For oft when on my couch I lie,
in vacant or in pensive mood,
I think of stealing Wordsworth's words
but realise that would be rude.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

THE SELFIE POEM

In 2013, Oxford Dictionaries deemed the word "selfie" as new word of the year.
The poet rises to the challenge........


The love of words
Is a wondrous thing,
Language evolving and growing,
We cherish the old words,
Get used to the new,
Language ebbing and flowing.

The joy of words
Is there for us all
Whether we’re poor or we’re welfie,
Rejoice, rejoice,
The experts have spoken,
The word of the year is “selfie”.

Monday, 18 November 2013

12 DAYS (ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS)

This is an alternative take on the 12 days of Christmas from my book Only Yules & Verses (available here - http://www.feedaread.com/ ........sing along kids........





12 DAYS

On the first day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

A matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 



On the second day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the third day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the fifth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 
 

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
A joker sent to me, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the seventh day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the eighth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the ninth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,

Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the tenth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Ten beetles beetling, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Eleven crickets clicking
Ten beetles beetling, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the twelfth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Twelve wasps a-stinging, 

Eleven crickets clicking, 
Ten beetles beetling, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
with a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the thirteenth day of Christmas,
Of  these “gifts” I’d had my fill,
So I grabbed the phone and made a call
To pest* controllers….. Rentokil.

*And that includes the joker!

Sunday, 17 November 2013

CONTENTS - ONLY YULES & VERSES



Only Yules & Verses available now from http://www.feedaread.com/

Contents:

Day One
Miss L Toe
Hannibal Lector's Christmas
Jingle Tills
Christmas Queue
Customers' Carol
Carol Singer, The Carol Singer
Turkey Trot
Rain Dear
All Presents And Incorrect
Grumpy Old Yule
Tell Add Hics
The Postman Always Rings
Christmas Crib Outside St Teresa's Church
Hijackers
Celebrity Books At Christmas
Christmas Crush Fears In Oxford Street
Sage And Onions
Ho-Ho-Hosiery
Christmas Shopping
Mooey
Sssshhhh
Christmas Alphabet
Grrrrristmas
Window Dresser
12 Days
Snow Poem
Deer, Deer
Starring Santa
Yuletide Decoration
Curly Christmas
You're A Card
Myrrh Grrrrr
Red Christmas Card
Blurry Christmas
Santa Claus/Claws
Not So Silent Night 1
Not So Silent Night 2
No Way
The Little Drummer Boy
Rudolph The Blue-Nosed Reindeer
Santa In The Garden
Strictly Christnas
Wenceslas Weather
Christmas Gaga
Hit The Deck
Snowmen Ice-Cream Cone
Nosey
Joy

Jokes section

Friday, 15 November 2013

AND WE THOUGHT WE WERE IMPORTANT

And we thought we were important,
Our presence was enough,
Our ideas and our views,
Our flash-drive urges for gadget stuff.

And we thought we were in charge,
Our choice to work or laze around,
Our hands on the global steering wheel,
Our ticking clocks fully wound.

And we thought we mattered,
Our twenty-four-seven swagger and sway
Our way of living, our selfishness,
Our assumed ownership of night and day.

And we thought.....
And we thought.....

Until the moment nature's howl was heard,
The force of a thousand angry gods,
Landscapes where we lived vanished,
People we loved vanished,
Hope vanished,
And in their places, nothing.....

And we thought we were important,
And we thought we were in charge,
And we thought we mattered.

Sunday, 10 November 2013

JFK - COLOUR RED


It is slowed down beautifully now on grainy film,
black and white in 1963,

colour now, technology,
exactly right to see the red
and we watch it again and again
to witness it again and again,
concentrating on the colour red,

Kennedy in Texas,
the colour red,

the President's head.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

6th POST - WORDSWORTH EDITIONS - CLASSIC POETRY AT (COUGH-SPLUTTER) £3.99


A while ago, the good folks at Wordsworth Editions sent me a pile of poetry books.  I’ve reviewed a few of them on this blog but, due to various time pressures, I have not been able to devote time to reading and reviewing them all.
But, as a kind of a halfway house, over the next few days, I will draw your attention to some of the books – collections that (at the time of writing) have a cover price of just £3.99.  Yes, cough-splutter, £3.99!!
This is the link to the website, but you can buy these books on other online bookselling sites and in bookshops.

The Complete Poems of Walt WhitmanCollected Poems of Oscar Wilde

The Collected Poems of William WordsworthThe Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats

Selected Poetry of the First World War

Please check them out.  Wonderful collections of some of the greatest poetry ever written.


Note: This posting is not endorsed and was not requested by Wordsworth Editions but it is a nod in their direction from a kindly chap who likes their books.

But if you order directly from Wordsworth Editions, tell them Joe at Dropped The Moon sent you!