THE SMILE POEMS #26 - LOST IN TRANSLATION

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

Original Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan (But you can RT!)

LOST IN TRANSLATION

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation lost………translation

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

translation translation translation translation 

THE SMILE POEMS #25 - BACK TO BASICS

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan (But you can RT!)

BACK TO BASICS

He took delivery today

of a hand-mill for grinding corn.

“A quern,” he said, caressing it,

“two big flat stones, one

with a hole and a wooden pin

to control the revolution,

back to basics food production.”

He read the instruction 

and, after several tries,

said: “Sod this for a game of soldiers,

“I’m off for a burger and fries.”

THE SMILE POEMS #24 - OLD FARMER JAKE

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan (But you can RT!)

OLD FARMER JAKE

Old Farmer Jake was always one

of the local troublemakers,

he got kicked in the groin

on the banks of the Boyne,

now he's got a couple more achers.

THE SMILE POEMS #23 - BLAH BLAH

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan (But you can RT!)

BLAH BLAH

Blah, blah,

You’ve had the news,

Blether, blether,

Now the weather,

All that yah-yah

Takes it’s toll,

But at least you’ve got

The remote control.

Click.

THE SMILE POEMS #22 - MONSTER IN THE CUPBOARD

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

MONSTER IN THE CUPBOARD

There's a monster in the cupboard,

I hear it breathing in and out,

Waiting to grab a hold of me,

Of that I have little doubt.

Some days it's cold and frosty,

The days when I need my duffel,

But on reaching in to grab it

I swear I hear a shuffle.

Just like football strikers,

I have to be quick on the bounce,

In and out in seconds before 

The monster has time to pounce.

Family says I imagine it

And urge me to stop my bleating,

Saying the shuffles, creaks and gurgles

Are from the central heating.

(Yeah, right!)

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #21 - POSSESSIONS

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

POSSESSIONS

All he owned was a cow,

a dog and a bible.

The hillside was his bedroom,

his lounge, kitchen and garden.

His roof was the sky,

his light the sun, moon and stars.

He made a note to ring the bank

about his mortgage application.

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #20 - THE HEE-HAW LANTERN

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

THE HEE-HAW LANTERN

In the gloom of the grey, stone cottage

he observes the naked candle flame

burning away, prone to the faintest breeze,

liable to a quick-wick-snuff-out sneeze.

He needed cover to protect the light,

to avoid the getting-up and relighting chore,

he sat awhile and pondered hard

then headed out the kitchen door.

He looked at his donkey and had a thought,

his old, knackered ass on its backside,

he looked at the head, what an image it made,

a blueprint skull for a lantern shade.

How the donkey died is another tale,

but its spirit lives on in a different guise,

now the cottage lighting is a bit more stable

with a hee-haw lantern on the bedside table.

Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #19 - MEG MARIGOLDS

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

MEG MARIGOLDS

Old Meg she was a cleaner

washing walls and floors

like her mop she was old and ragged

from a million scrubbing chores.

Her arsenal was a bucket,

a chamois, a duster, a broom

her aroma was disinfectant,

her B.O. could clear a room.

She sang as she washed the tiles

with a frog lodged in her throat,

she whistled a piercing tune

with no danger of hitting a note.

Her breakfast was a fag and coffee,

her lunch was a coffee and fag,

she was skinny as an HB pencil

her tired flesh heading south in a sag.

But the work years took their toll

there was no way she could duck it,

Old Meg slipped on a skiddy floor

and finally kicked the bucket.

 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #18 - HANNIBAL LECTER'S DINNER PARTY

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S DINNER PARTY

He had friends for dinner
and from the evidence of empty dishes,
despite the calorie intake,
his friends were quite delicious.





 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

PRESENTING POET ROBIN MCNAMARA

It is a pleasure and a privilege to present poet Robin McNamara

Robin McNamara, Positano, Amalfi Coast, Italy

Robin McNamara lives in Waterford City and with over 45 poems published worldwide, including poems published in America with Starving Writers and in the UK with Saccharine Poetry.

Robin is a regular contributor to Poetry Ireland and Black Bough Poetry poetry as well as being a guest prompter with Poetry Ireland.

UCD Library have a selection of his pandemic poems in their archives as a record of poems written during this period. 

Robin also regularly contributes to Spillwords, where he was nominated twice for poem and author of the month.

His Spillwords biography also states that he formerly lived in Copenhagen. A former journalist with Insight Magazine, Dublin, he likes dogs, football and coffee. He enjoys observing and watching nature change for inspiration in writing.

Here are links to some of Robin’s amazing published work that displays his gift for capturing moments, emotions, thoughts and hopes.  Please take a look and let him know what you think.  

He is on Twitter @thewindingroad1 and well worth a follow.

https://spillwords.com/author/robinmcnamara/

https://libguides.ucd.ie/lockdownpoetry/part6

http://pendemic.ie/in-the-quiet-space-a-poem-by-robin-mcnamara/

https://starvingwriters.net/index.php/2019/02/09/magnolia-desert-by-robin-mcnamara-poetry/

https://www.marine.ie/Home/sites/default/files/MIFiles/Images/Comms/Robin%20McNamara.pdf

THE SMILE POEMS #17 - LET US SPRAY

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

LET US SPRAY

I used bathroom cleaner 

In the kitchen

And kitchen cleaner

In the bathroom,

Then waited for mayhem, 

Smoke and splatter,

But after hours under the table

And despite the product labels,

Kitchen, bathroom, it didn’t really matter.

(Except for that fizzy noise and the odd gurgle and the vapour and the……..)

 


 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #16 - SUMS IT UP

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

SUMS IT UP

Doing hard sums
can get you in a pickle.
It'd be much more fun
if called arithmetickle.

 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #15 - FRANKLY

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

FRANKLY

My Uncle Sid’s a ringer,

A mirror-image, I kid you not,

For the Frankenstein monster,

With his face as green as snot.

My Uncle Sid’s his double,

Nature’s fluke, no doubt, by ‘eck

And the likeness is enhanced by

The bolt stuck through his neck.

 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan

THE SMILE POEMS #14 - IN A SUPERMARKET QUEUE

Available for freelance writing commissions on a variety of subjects including family history, nostalgic Belfast and its famous people, shops, shoppers & shopping (40 years in retailing), the golden age of Hollywood (including westerns) and humorous pieces on life's weird and wonderful. Op-eds, columns, non-fiction book reviews too. 

joecushnan@aol.com & @JoeCushnan

I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote a book on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

IN A SUPERMARKET QUEUE

The man in front

Is a smelly old codger,

A pongy and whiffy

Shower-gel dodger.

 Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan