'Twas the
month after Christmas and all through the house
,
Nothing
would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies
I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd taste,
All the
festive parties had gone to my waist.
When I got
on the scales and saw my new weight
,
I began to
regret the amounts on my plate.
I'd remember
the marvellous meals we’d prepared,
The gravies
and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and
the turkey, the bread and the cheese
And the way
I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
So - away
with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of
the fruit cake, every cracker and chip,
Every last
bit of food that I like must be banished
,
'Til all the
additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have
the shortbread - not even a lick,
I'll want
only to chew on a celery stick.
I won't have
hot pancakes, potato bread, or pie,
I'll munch
on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry,
I'm lonesome, and life is a bore -
But isn't
that what January is for?
Unable to
giggle, no longer a riot.
I say cheers
to you all on your New Year diet.
But before
all the calorie counting begins,
There is one
last good meal to eat for our sins.
To have you
all here is a joy and delight
As we
celebrate Burns and eat haggis tonight.
Copyright 2017 Joe Cushnan
Copyright 2017 Joe Cushnan
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