This is a true story (embellished for entertainment
value) from my supermarket management days.
It is not often I can remember the exact dates of
customer complaints but 6 September 1997 stands out because it was the day of
Princess Diana’s funeral and a quite bizarre incident happened.
In order to give everybody a chance to watch the funeral
on TV, most shops closed on that morning.
Later, at two o’clock, we reopened and within ten minutes, I was called
to see a customer. As I got closer, I
noticed red mist around her head, cheeks a-flush, hands on hips and a trace of
steam coming out of her ears. No fool
me, I detected she was annoyed about something.
(Now, bear in mind the sadness of the day.)
"I am furious,” she began. “I have just driven my new car into your car
park and I drove over a McDonald’s milkshake carton, causing the contents to
splash out all over my new tyres. What
are you going to do about it?”
I stood staring at her like a rabbit locking onto the
full beams of a juggernaut, my face frozen, and wondering if I had just heard
what I thought I heard. She looked at me
and said, with menace, “Well?”
My head was searching for the number of a psychiatrist or
a hit man. Eventually my mouth uttered
an apology and an offer of a free car wash.
She demanded the full wax and polish and I thought but didn’t say,
“Yeah, first the car and then you, baby.” I agreed to her demands and she
stomped out of the shop.
As it was raining, I was doubly cheesed off but I went
out in my big mac to retrieve the milkshake carton that had caused the
mcflurry. The woman who had made an
unhappy meal of it had gone. It had been
a burger of a day.
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