I NEED COMPENSATION FOR.......

  

Compensation culture - if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I need compensation for:

.....unnecessary queuing in shops, post offices, etc..

.....anxiety in car parks when the machines won't accept perfectly good coins

.....wasted time answering annoying phone calls about PPI, double-glazing (still happens), time share et al.

.....wasted time answering the door to people who try to worry me about my roof, my windows, my driveway, my drains, etc.

.....wasted time listening to Vivaldi when contacting call centres.

.....thumb-strain as I channel hop for ages trying to find something interesting or entertaining to watch on TV.

.....angst when my mind shuts down trying to remember one of the dozens of passwords, pins, security questions, etc that plague modern life.

.....increased blood pressure when TV announcers butt in at the end of programmes, ruining the moment of reflection and blanking out the theme music. 

and on and on and on.

Cheques payable to "Home for the Bewildered".