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A short series from my days as a supermarket manager.
All true but stretched for entertainment value.
I was managing a food/non-food superstore and a customer asked to see me. I found my way to the customer service desk and, although I am six feet tall, this guy seemed to tower above me. His girth was wider than mine too and as I looked up at him I prayed that this was not going to end in tears - mine.
I stuck my hand out to shake his but he ignored it and started bawling: "Lime marmalade. You've got none." I went through the motions of saying that I would check for him but he told me that someone had already been to the stock room. "Why haven't you got any?" I told him I didn't know but I would find out and let him know by phone that afternoon.