From The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce (published 1911):
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Politician: An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the
superstructure of organised society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the
agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the
statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
President: The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and
of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen
did not want any of them for President.
Idiot: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in
human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is
not confined to any special field of thought or action, but pervades and
regulates the whole. He has the last word in everything; his decision is
unappealable. He sets the fashions of opinion and taste, dictates the
limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a deadline.
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