In Search of My Father 2017 Writing Project

In Search of My Father 2017 Writing Project
In Search of My Father, 2017 writing project supported by The National Lottery through the Arts Council of Northern Ireland

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

VALENTINE CHUCKLES


Sharing a few Valentine's chuckles.........




MAKING THE EFFORT

No road
Too long to walk,
No river
Too wide to swim,
No mountain
Too high to climb,
No building
Too tall to abseil,
No rapids
Too rough to ride,
No bungee
Too scary to jump,
No slopes
Too snowy to ski
-       That’s how much you mean to me.
But, to be honest, I’m knackered.




*
Roses are chocolates,
But if you eat them by the load,
I swear you’ll expand
And eventually explode.

*
Roses are beautiful,
Roses have thorns,
You’re losing your looks,
As the mirror warns.

*
Roses are red,
Diamonds gleam,
With my looks and your brains,
We make quite a team.


*
Cupid’s an archer,
Casanova’s a chap,
You’re the love of my life
After a bacon bap.

*
I love your face,
I love your lips,
But I especially love ketchup
On my fish and chips.

*
You’re the greatest,
You’re a winner,
Now be a love
And make my dinner.


12 (Plus One) Days Of courting

On the FIRST day of courting,
My true love sent to me
A gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the SECOND day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the THIRD day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the FOURTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the FIFTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the SIXTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the SEVENTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Seven toothpicks chewed,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the EIGHTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Eight olive pips,
Seven toothpicks chewed,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the NINTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Nine blobs of earwax,
Eight olive pips,
Seven toothpicks chewed,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the TENTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Ten empty beer cans,
Nine blobs of earwax,
Eight olive pips,
Seven toothpicks chewed,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the ELEVENTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Eleven ultimatums,
Ten empty beer cans,
Nine blobs of earwax,
Eight olive pips,
Seven toothpicks chewed,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the TWELFTH day of courting,
My true love sent to me,
Twelve effigies,
Eleven ultimatums,
Ten empty beer cans,
Nine blobs of earwax,
Eight olive pips,
Seven toothpicks chewed,
Six bitten toffees,
Five laddered stockings,
Four eyelash trimmings,
Three tear-stained tissues,
Two nail clippings
And a gift box
With a small lock of her hair.


On the THIRTEENTH day of courting,
I don’t know what she sent,
“Cos the strain and the stress
Made me change my address
And in answer to the choice –
Man or mouse? Mouse.
But at least a mouse
In a police safe house!





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