VALENTINE CHUCKLES

Sharing a few Valentine's chuckles.........

MAKING THE EFFORT

No road

Too long to walk,

No river

Too wide to swim,

No mountain

Too high to climb,

No building

Too tall to abseil,

No rapids

Too rough to ride,

No bungee

Too scary to jump,

No slopes

Too snowy to ski

-       That’s how much you mean to me.

But, to be honest, I’m knackered.

*

Roses are chocolates,

But if you eat them by the load,

I swear you’ll expand

And eventually explode.

*

Roses are beautiful,

Roses have thorns,

You’re losing your looks,

As the mirror warns.

*

Roses are red,

Diamonds gleam,

With my looks and your brains,
We make quite a team.

*

Cupid’s an archer,

Casanova’s a chap,

You’re the love of my life

After a bacon bap.

*

I love your face,

I love your lips,

But I especially love ketchup

On my fish and chips.

*

You’re the greatest,

You’re a winner,

Now be a love

And make my dinner.

12 (Plus One) Days Of courting

On the FIRST day of courting,

My true love sent to me

A gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the SECOND day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the THIRD day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the FOURTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the FIFTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the SIXTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the SEVENTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the EIGHTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the NINTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the TENTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Ten empty beer cans,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the ELEVENTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Eleven ultimatums,

Ten empty beer cans,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the TWELFTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Twelve effigies,

Eleven ultimatums,

Ten empty beer cans,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the THIRTEENTH day of courting,

I don’t know what she sent,

“Cos the strain and the stress

Made me change my address

And in answer to the choice –

Man or mouse? Mouse.

But at least a mouse

In a police safe house!