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Wednesday, 2 October 2013


From my forthcoming book of funny/silly poems - The Chuckle Files.....

I don’t know if you care,
I don’t know if you’re fussed
But I’m worried our vacuum cleaner’s
Allergic to fluff and dust.

I swear sometimes
I hear it wheeze.
I reckon sometimes
It’s about to sneeze.

Back and forward
Across the floor,
I thought it cried:
“No more, no more.”

Behind the sofa,
Dust and fluff,
Under the bed:
“Enough, enough.” 

I switched it off
And sat it down,
Delivered a lecture
With the sternest frown.

“If you’re unable
To clean a room,
You’ll lose your job,
‘Cos I’ll buy a broom.

“If you’re unable
To clean the floor,
It’s over between us,
I’ll show you the door.

“If you’re unable
To clean a mat,
That’s that.”

Whatever I said,
The vac, alert with a jerk,
Dusted itself down
And got back to work.

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