I sat down to breakfast,
bacon, egg and toast,
pot of tea and orange juice
and the morning Daily Post.
But all at once I jumped ten feet
frightened for my life
when the egg let out a scream of "Oi,
watch where you put that knife!"
Then the bacon laughed and laughed and laughed
and began to dance a jig,
singing "I wish I was at home again
on the backside of a pig."
The teapot lid was banging,
the crusty toast began to cuss
but the orange juice let out a pip
to quieten all the fuss.
I came down from the ceiling
chaste and unaccusing
vowing to give up fatty foods
for something more ameusling.
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