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Thursday, 10 September 2020


 I have a portfolio of features, reviews, poetry and short fiction published in all sorts of places - Belfast Telegraph, Tribune, Ireland's Own, Dalhousie Review, Fairlight Books, Reader's Digest, Reality, Lapwing Poetry, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Spillwords, Dear Reader, Amethyst Review, Black Bough, to name a selection.  Oh, and the odd BBC radio contribution. I wrote books on retailing, on dealing with job losses and a biography of film star Stephen Boyd.

This is a series of (hopefully) funny poems from hundreds I've written over the years (inspired by the likes of Spike Milligan and Roger McGough) to provoke a smile in these odd times.

My own original Text ©2020 Joe Cushnan (But you can RT!) 



I found it hard to become a poet, for I found no rhyme or reason to it.

I tried being a man of the cloth for a spell but in the end it was hell.

Working in a coffee shop I tended to find, it was just the same old daily grind.

I tried teaching history but boredom blew it, as I couldn’t see a future to it.

I fancied being a doctor but soon withdrew as I hadn’t the patience to see it through.

I went to Canada with some lumberjacks but couldn’t cut it, so I got the axe.

Back to a shoe shop for a little bit but failed again ‘cos I didn’t fit.

First day in the match factory, quick as you like, the entire workforce went on strike.

I tried oil drilling and exploring but things looked black and the work was boring.

So, I’m back as a poet, a blessing and curse, writing away from bad to verse.


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