In Search of My Father 2017 Writing Project

In Search of My Father 2017 Writing Project
In Search of My Father, 2017 writing project supported by The National Lottery through the Arts Council of Northern Ireland

Monday, 7 December 2015

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (SINISTER VERSION)

Taken from The Fatter, Jollier Only Yules & Verses (See below)

On the first day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

A matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 



On the second day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the third day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the fifth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 
 

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
A joker sent to me, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the seventh day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the eighth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the ninth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the tenth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Ten beetles beetling, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me, 

Eleven crickets clicking
Ten beetles beetling, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
With a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the twelfth day of Christmas, 

A joker sent to me,

Twelve wasps a-stinging, 

Eleven crickets clicking, 
Ten beetles beetling, 

Nine caterpillars, 

Eight dragonflies, 

Seven hornets humming, 

Six bees a-buzzing, 

Five ladybirds,
Four willy-worms, 

Three creepy-crawlies, 

Two wriggly spiders, 

And a matchbox
with a hyperactive flea. 

 



On the thirteenth day of Christmas,
Of  these “gifts” I’d had my fill,
So I grabbed the phone and made a call
To pest* controllers….. Rentokil.

*And that includes the joker!


The Fatter, Jollier Only Yules & Verses

The original Only Yules & Verses was published in 2013. This edition contains the previous material plus new text. When the first book was published in 2013, an unsolicited comment appeared on Amazon. I call stuff like this little nudges of encouragement. Of course, for every flattering nudge, there are several pokes in the eye waiting in the wings. Here’s the comment from a man called Joe Koot: “Only Yules and Verses is one of those special little books that you happen upon serendipitously. I have read authors' blurbs before extolling the mirth to be found in THEIR book only to buy the book and be severely disappointed. What an unexpected joy, therefore, to pick up this little gem and read it to the end with smiles, a few laughs out loud and some headshakes at the ingenuity of Joe Cushnan. I thoroughly enjoyed this and wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone. P.S. I am not a friend or family member of the author, but how I wish I were!”
ISBN: 9781786101853
Total Pages: 132
Published: 6 October 2015

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