PUBLISHER, PUBLISHER, WHEREFORE ART THOU PUBLISHER (OF FUN VERSE FOR KIDS)

Following the first hilarious (my blog, my word!) collections of funny poems for kids (of all ages), collection three is ticking along nicely.



"Fun With Words, Fun With Rhyme" manuscript is current at 80 poems on 64 pages.  The aim is to get to 100 pages and well over 100 poems.

I will self-publish the book but I would love it to be taken up by a mainstream publisher - alas, with all the hurdles associated with agents and publishers, a tough challenge. (And yes, I have worn out my copy of Writer's & Artists Yearbook and almost hammered a keyboard to death!)

But never give up!

This collection is intended to be read aloud to enthusiastic and interactive young audiences.  It is about fun but also about nurturing young creative minds and a lifelong love of books, bookshops and libraries.

Lofty, but sincere.

These are the titles of the poems so far:

CONTENTS

Writing

Ho+Ho+Ho = Ho Ho Ho

Class Acts

Breakfast Serial

Compare

Blank

Waspish

Sneaky Crawlies

Not Feeling Swell

Plane Sight

Oh my Days

Bye Bye Yesterdye

Learning Stuff

Comfy Book

Underachiever

Aunt Val

Blinking Silly

Body Of Work

Aristocounting

Blow

Last Straw 

Yum Yum

Spaced

Goodnight From Him

Born & Bread

Playing With Food

Celebrate The Fool

Hum-Bling

The Selfie Poem

Gurgle

Udder Chaos

Smashing

Buzz

Thank You For Your Custom

One Direction

M1 Speak

National Poetry Day Poem

Incident At The Bird Feeder

Cooky

For A Change

Loser

Bear

Off My Trolley 

Bananas

Rainbow Me

Angry Poem

Plop Poem

Excitable Poem

Noise

Alphabetcha I Can Transport You To Wherever You Want To Go

Bus Fuss

Remember This

Forget This

Blowy

Weather Blether

A Bottle Of Fun Words

Fall In

Lost In Translation

Twitter

Tweet Poem

Oh Dear

Core Blimey

Sharp Wits

Ouch

Thirsty Work

What To Do About Orange

Sadsuma

Moaning Lisa

Hole In The Argument

Where There’s A Will

Telling The Tooth

That’s Charlotte

Hardy Shopper

Food’s On You

Easy Eats

Barking

Giggle TV

Sounds Like A Plan

Hmmm

COMPARING YOU TO A SUMMER'S DAY

Here I sit in the UK,

Comparing you to a summer’s day –

You have a face like thunder,

You have highs and lows,

You fluctuate

Like the drifting snows.

You’re cold as ice,

You’re mercurial, chronic,

You’ve got rainbow eyes

From gins and tonic.

You’re dense as fog,

You’re an ice-cold blast,

Hard to predict

Like the weather forecast.

You’re a tidal wave,

You’re sleet and hail,

And every notch

On the Richter scale.

You’re foggy and frosty,

You’re murky and misty

And I can’t recall

When you last kissed me.

As I compare you,

Think I’ve got you pinned,

And by the way,

You have terrible wind.

FALL IN

From a forthcoming collection of fun verse for kids (of all ages) - Fun With Words, Fun With Rhyme 

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

leaf      leaf      leaf      leaf    leaf     leaf      leaf

It is highly unlikely that Autumn leaves

Will ever fall as neatly as this,

Unless a Sergeant-Major

Is employed to shout and hiss:

“Right, you ‘orrible leaves,

I’ll not tolerate any trouble,

So get yourselves in line,

RIGHT NOW, on the double!”

COOKY (A NONSENSE POEM)

From a forthcoming collection of fun poems for kids (of all ages).  I'm keen to take my "Fun With Words, Fun With Rhyme" talk/workshop around schools and libraries.  Enquiries to joecushnan@aol.com

The chef he cooked a stew on the coldest winter’s day,

The chef he cooked a stew he called a cassoulet,

The chef he cooked a stew with lots of ingredients,

All sorts of stuff that sounded weird not making any sense.

He peeled things, he chopped things, he mashed as best he could,

He was careless and fearless about preparing fancy food.

The chef he cooked a stew with vegetables and fruits,

The chef he cooked a stew with underpants and boots,

The chef he cooked a stew with nuts and bolts and screws,

A tub of lard, a tin of paint and a pair of ballet shoes.

He whirred it, he stirred it, he shook it very hard,

Then placed it in a sunny spot outside in the yard. 

The chef he cooked a stew, he added salt and pepper,

The chef he cooked a stew and threw in Granny’s slipper,

The chef he cooked a stew with lamb and pork and beef,

Rocks and stones and old tin cans to break a diner’s teef.

He plopped it, he slopped it, he spilled some on the floor,

He splashed the cat, the cat said drat and scurried out the door.

The chef he cooked a stew and it was time to serve his guests

The chef he cooked a stew and hoped they’d be impressed,

The chef he cooked a stew and they all thought it was pretty grim,

They chased him out of town and that’s the last they saw of him.