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Wednesday, 23 December 2020

ONLY YULES & VERSES 23 OF 24 - CHRISTMAS LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT - HO! HO! HO!



When the original Only Yules & Verses book was self-published in 2013, an unsolicited comment appeared on Amazon.  I call stuff like this little nudges of encouragement.  Of course, for every flattering nudge, there are several pokes in the eye waiting in the wings. Here’s the comment:

 

“Only Yules and Verses is one of those special little books that you happen upon serendipitously. I have read authors' blurbs before extolling the mirth to be found in THEIR book only to buy the book and be severely disappointed. What an unexpected joy, therefore, to pick up this little gem and read it to the end with smiles, a few laughs out loud and some headshakes at the ingenuity of Joe Cushnan. I thoroughly enjoyed this and wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone.

 

P.S. I am not a friend or family member of the author, but how I wish I were!”


I'll take that!


ONLY YULES & VERSES - CHRISTMAS LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT 

                                             HO! HO! HO! 


SOME JOKES

Who delivers Christmas presents under the sea?

Santa Jaws? 

 

Who delivers presents to little puppies?

Santa Paws? 

 

What do you call an old snowman?

A puddle.

  

What’s the difference between a knight and a reindeer?

One slays a dragon and the other drags a sleigh. 

 

What do you call a train carrying Christmas toffees?

A chew-chew train.

 

 Mrs Vampire: “I got you a new set of false teeth for Christmas, darling.”

Mr Vampire: “Fangs very much.” 

 

A man tried and failed to buy his son a karate suit for Christmas. He moaned: “I could kick myself.”

 

How did the ghostbuster know what the poltergeist was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents. 

 

Every time I watch Mary Poppins at Christmas, I get blurred vision. The optician said it was um diddle diddle diddle um diddle eye.

 

The forgotten reindeer is always the girl – Olive, the other reindeer…….


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