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Tuesday, 4 April 2017


It's International MakeAMountainOutOfAMolehill Day and, coincidentally, International TurnTriviaIntoACrisis Day.

Welcome to the new global theme park - Apoplexy World - where the merest sniff, grunt, cough, sneeze and snort can send the world into a tizzy, or at least that's how antisocial media works, driving abject nonsense into the premier league of really, really important things to worry about.

A word, a phrase, an exclamation mark in the wrong place can cause emotional eruptions and uncontrollable rage. A reasonable comment or opinion lights somebody's blue touch paper and a cult of offended followers emerges to berate whoever had the audacity to say such things.

Sometimes, most times, possibly at all times Seamus Heaney's "Whatever you say, say nothing" is the safest, most effective antidote to the outbreaks of blether disease that infects people's minds and distorts their everyday thinking, deflecting them from the important stuff like getting on with living a decent life rather than helping to portray tittle-tattle and piffle as life-threatening tics hellbent on destroying mankind (and by that, of course, I mean womankind, childkind and everylivingcreatureonearthkind).

Every day, via the 'news', we are given another thing to worry about - a survey says.....research ancient politician warns...... TV and radio should stop all the slick productions and beautifully groomed presenters and just adopt the Private Fraser approach. "Hello and welcome to the news. We're all doomed. There's no need to bother with the details........."

One day it will be International CatchYourselfOn Day or International RediscoverTheSenseYouWereBornWith Day or International GrannyWasRightAllAlong Day.

Anyway, back to my lounger in the conservatory of the Home for the Bewildered.

Turn that frown around.


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