12 (WELL, 13) DAYS OF COURTING

From Only Drools & Corsets (Funny poems and silly stuff about love, Valentine's, etc)


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A sort of tale of the unexpected................

On the FIRST day of courting,

My true love sent to me

A gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the SECOND day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the THIRD day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the FOURTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the FIFTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the SIXTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the SEVENTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the EIGHTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the NINTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the TENTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Ten empty beer cans,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the ELEVENTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Eleven ultimatums,

Ten empty beer cans,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair. 

On the TWELFTH day of courting,

My true love sent to me,

Twelve effigies,

Eleven ultimatums,

Ten empty beer cans,

Nine blobs of earwax,

Eight olive pips,

Seven toothpicks chewed,

Six bitten toffees,

Five laddered stockings,

Four eyelash trimmings,

Three tear-stained tissues,

Two nail clippings

And a gift box

With a small lock of her hair.

On the THIRTEENTH day of courting,

I don’t know what she sent,

'Cos the strain and the stress

Made me change my address

And in answer to the choice –

Man or mouse? Mouse.

But at least a mouse

In a police safe house!