10 MOST VIEWED POSTS EVER

Here are the links to the 10 most viewed posts on this blog since it began a couple of years ago - just click and read:

• HR: HYPOCRISY RULES

  There are companies sacking people for the crime of being over fifty - too expensive. There are companies with miss...
• WATCHING MY ONOMATOPOEIAS AND QUOEIAS


  This poem comes from a collection of spoof verse called "The Life & Poetry of Hamish Sheaney". Some of the work has featured on BBC...
• MOST VIEWED POETRY POSTS 7 DAYS TO 01.09.2012

  Here are the most viewed poetry posts in the past seven days - just click to read: CLINT FOR MITT WILLIAM WORDSWORTH - THE COLL ...
• WHISKER HAIKU

  I feel like a cat eighth life gone, just one life left -  cling by a whisker
• CHRISTMAS CRIB OUTSIDE ST TERESA'S CHURCH

  It was the highlight of the year, apart from toys on Christmas day, to see the outdoor crib where the baby Jesus lay. Memory and matur...
• ZEAL by ANDREW BAILEY (Poetry Book Review)

  ZEAL By Andrew Bailey Enitharmon £9.99 http://www.enitharmon.co.uk/index.asp For another review project, I have been...
• THE 96

  The Hillsborough disaster occurred when 96 Liverpool fans died after they were crushed within Sheffield Wednesday's stadium during the 1989 ...
• MICK JAGGER'S CHATEAU

  The old potter told us that Mick Jagger's chateau was not far away, so we drove towards Poce sur Cisse in the hope that we would find...
• CAMERA-TOTING GITS

  Privacy's a precious thing, but can be ruined in a flash,  stolen by photographers who want a load of cash. Listen all celebrities, ...
• ANDY MURRAY - UPDATED - & UPDATED AGAIN

  From 9 July 2012: Based loosely on the format of the song The Scottish Soldier........... There was a player, a Scottish player wh...

OLD CHESTNUT

"Is the 24th of December Easter Adam?"

"No, it's Christmas Eve"

Ho, ho, ho!

GAWD, REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN

Go on rest ye merry gentlemen
after Christmas lunch,
remember to leave tummy room
for cakes and chocs and punch,
to save you from dyspepsia
have Rennies there to crunch,

Oh, noises of grunts and snorts and snores,
snorts and snores,
Oh, noises of grunts and snorts and snores.

Awaiting the Queen's speech you try
to slip in forty winks
but Junior's rat-a-tatting toy
forces a rethink,
you give that toy the evil eye
and curse it with a jinx,

Oh at Christmas we're crackers one and all,
one and all,
Oh at Christmas we're crackers one and all.

Merry Christmas to each and every one,
ho, ho, ho,
Merry Christmas to each and every one.

STUBBORN

You can grow
as old as life allows
and travel for miles
to the extremes of far,
yet still stay 
where you are.

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS WRINGS

Dashing through the snow
in a worn out pair of boots
sack of Christmas post
like a burglar's swag of loot

Grimacing all the way
I wish I was in bed
I'm walking up and down the street
delivering instead

Oh soggy boots, soggy boots
soggy wet right through
a ton of Christmas cards to work
I wish it was a few

Oh soggy boots, soggy boots
soggy wet right through
Oh what misery it is
to do what postmen do

Now it's getting tough
that dog at number eight
if he rips my trouser leg
I'll trap him in the gate

A postman tries his best
He's Indiana Jones
for dogs at Christmas and all year
treat him just like bones

Oh soggy boots, soggy boots

soggy wet right through

a ton of Christmas cards to work

I wish it was a few

Oh soggy boots, soggy boots

soggy wet right through

Oh what misery it is

to do what postmen do

AWAY IN A MANGER (SORTA)

Away in a manger, no bib for the babe,
the blobs of egg custard stuck to his sweet head,
the juice in the bottle drips onto the floor
and the messy wee rascal has started to roar.

The tears are now flowing, the tantrum's begun,
each toy Christmas present is tried one by one,
the rattle, the squeaker, the robot, the drum,
but the calming solution to the babe is his thumb.

SILENT NIGHT - YEAH RIGHT!

Silent night, not a chance,
bang, bang, bang,
crash, crash, crash,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang,
rustle, rattle and rat-a-tat,
bang, crash, boom, clang, rattle, boing. 

BUZZ

Outside my window,
the buzzsaw man
is sounding like a giant hornet,
a continuous, pauseless noise of dread,
and I am searching
for a gigantic newspaper to roll up 
and with a swift, 
swish swat,
to kill it 
and him stone dead.

AGE OF GRIEF (NEWTOWN)

6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
6
7
7
7
7
27
29
30
47
52
52
56

Rest in peace.

SHARP

Broadsword banter,
cutlass comedy,
epee entertainment,,
sabre sarcasm,
foil frolics,
claymore calamity,
scimitar shenanigans.......

oh what is that phrase,
what is it?

Oh, yeah,
rapier wit!

MOST VIEWED POST 7 DAYS TO 15.12.12

Here are the links to the most viewed poetry posts on this blog in the past 7 days - just click to read:

SNOOPER'S CHARTER
RADIO
CELEBRITY BOOKS AT CHRISTMAS
WINTER HAIKUS
MUDDY THE WATERS
APPETITE FOR HOAXES
ALWAYS STONES
CHRISTMAS CRIB OUTSIDE ST TERESA'S CHURCH
CHRISTMAS CHAOS
MOST VIEWED POETRY POSTS 7 DAYS TO 01.09.2012

RADIO

You've got Radio Gloom,
reporting spirals of doom,
you've got Radio Clang
erupting, shaking the room,
you've got Radio Blah,
all sorts jabbering on phones,
you've got Radio Bloke,
sports geeks' opinions and moans,
you've got Radio Joke,
unfunny comedy shows,
you've got Radio Yokel,
local titter and woes........

....but in this crazy world,
for a change once or twice,
something easy on the ear
would be rather nice,
no argumentative agenda, 
nothing in-yer-face,
Radio Peace & Quiet
for a gentler pace,
for those relaxing moments,
just the ticket, t'would be grand,
to hear in the background,
Radio Bland.

MUDDY THE WATERS

Opinion,
let's muddy the waters,
newspapers,
let's muddy the waters,
TV news,
let's muddy the waters,
social media,
let's muddy the waters,
advertising,
let's muddy the waters,
politicians,
let's muddy the waters,
terrorists,
let's muddy the waters
business,
let's muddy the waters,
religion,
let's muddy the waters.......

Whatever happened to the crystal-clear,
unblemished telling of truth,
before life's calm breeze became a violent storm,
before brainwashing-angst became the norm.

CELEBRITY BOOKS AT CHRISTMAS

Christmas is coming,
and do you know how I know,
celeb books are being flogged
on nearly every TV show.

All the starry listers,
from A right through to Zed
hope we'll spend our cash and hang 
on every word we've read.

Some reinvent their childhoods
to get the sympathy buy,
some fill 300 pages
with a mix of truth and lie.

Some get confused assuming
that we really give a toss
about shallow lives and woe-is-me
amid glittery showbiz gloss.

Amongst the crud and crappy books,
a few seem worth a read
but only when the price is right
will I pay them any heed.

Here's my plan to be selective,
with the kiss and tell and quirks,
I'll wait for the bargain season,
in January at The Works.