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Thursday, 27 June 2013


"Nearly is not good enough," said the portly executive,
presenting at a lets-pretend-we-are-all-colleagues conference,
where the bonhomie was as plastic as the coffee cups
and the enthusiasm as tangible as a burst balloon.

"The customer is always king," we chanted,
slapping our arses in pseudo-tambourine-banging motions,
trapped into clapping the podium claptrap,
as insane and pointless as howling at the moon.

"We are one team in thought and deed," said the HR smoothie,
pausing to prompt an ovation for his words of genius,
and we obliged, shouting and whistling our agreement,
secretly mocking this cliche-ridden buffoon.

"Sell, sell, sell and do it well, well, well," our parting anthem,
waving the small flags we were given to add to the fun,
carrying huge folders of procedures, guidance and wisdom,
sagging from the banality of a business pantomime afternoon.

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